Category: Health and Spirituality

Message to Me

~ soulspeak915 ~ Leave a comment

As per my objectives, this week’s message and reflections come from a note I wrote titled ‘Message to me’ and dated 6/5/2021. So here goes:

“Remember to look for the doors. Remember to look for the portals, the ways into the magical places I belong. Remember to stay focused and pay attention. Trust yourself to make sure you are okay. Not others. Remember, the way has been made for me to survive and thrive. Remember to look for the doors.”

When my son took the picture above I was fascinated with the snake. Big ass Garter snake; garden snake. Hidden in the overgrown bush/tree that had to be removed. Beautiful and creepy at the same time.

When I found this note, I was cleaning and sorting through a bunch of memo notes and envelopes that I had written passwords and websites and topics for research on. This sorting is tedious and wealth producing. I have a wealth of ideas and information waiting for me to recover it and give it time and attention. In the business/busyness of daily living the message returned quietly and clearly; remember to look for the openings that are still waiting for you and I. Remember to believe in the magical places awaiting you. Remember, you created them when you were dreaming and drawing and talking to your ‘imaginary’ playmates. We have been creating and responding to our magical places since birth. Much like watching a baby coo and smile and talk to the light of the lamp while you are feeding them, the magical realms, the frequencies and angelic choruses have been calling us, speaking with us, feeding our souls from before birth. As master creators in training, we have visions and palaces and adventures we imagined and prepared for ourselves in the many dimensions, many mansions of the multi-verse and they await our attentions and energy to bring them as we brought ourselves into this 3-D place. We gave ourselves this mission and we alone test ourselves along the way. It’s ours to complete and enjoy and our success is assured.

Now there are many shadows and potholes and disagreeable people and circumstances also appearing. I have, maybe you have to, been struggling a bit lately feeling like there is no real good way through. Then I find a message from the natural world, this week it was the buzzard, the vulture. She, (it felt like a she) circled over my head as I stood in the driveway. Never flapping her wings, in perfect concentric circles. And then, she reversed herself. Clockwise became counter-clockwise. I felt great joy watching her watch me and whatever else was on her mind. I thanked her and later looked up some metaphysical meanings for vulture. Animal Speak by Ted Andrews is an amazing reference and resource book. Such a mystical bird. It’s so easy to love butterflies and rainbows but we miss the deeper messages possible from the caterpillar, hurricane or vulture. Paraphrasing Ted Andrews about the vulture, he said :”In alchemy, the vulture was a symbol of sublimation…a promise that the suffering of the immediate was temporary and necessary for a higher purpose was at work…”

So as this week comes to a close, it is appropriate I find this message to myself and I share it with you…Remember to look for the doors…the portals…into the magical places you and I belong.

Peace & Blessings,

Philana

What’s Happening?

~ soulspeak915 ~ Leave a comment
Shelter Gardens in Columbia MO.

Hello and Greetings!

I continue to work at keeping the schedule I gave myself for posting, sharing my thoughts and insights. I appreciate each person who has taken any time to read what is getting my attention now as well as in days past. I will also share pictures taken on my personal retreat walks and encourage you to contact me if you are interested in scheduling a custom retreat walk with me designed to meet your needs.

Today’s note comes from sometime in November 2021. I know this because I found it sandwiched in between sheets that had dates on them. Per my rule, if I picked it, then I must use it, even if I don’t quite get what got my attention in the first place. So here goes:

He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free. Luke 4:18.

My thought… “It was always an inside job.”

Now for you purists I have probably not done the biblical quotation correctly. I imagine I was reading ‘The Daily Word’, a Unity publication I have been using as a daily devotional reading for over 20 years. While my viewpoints are evolving I still find this inspirational reading source useful. Now as I contemplate this I am reflecting on the Hybrid Solar Eclipse that just occurred as well as a New Moon. So much revealing and revelations pushing on the new creations waiting to be planted, nurtured and brought forth into our developing brave new world. If we cooperate. If we find our courage and our patience to support the divine order of life for ourselves and our global family.

The light of an eclipse highlights or defines, makes you look at what is at the heart or center of things. It feels like with all you gain from the light of the sun, the source, you, we, have to see that there is a center, a core that must be recognized. With all the astrological and cosmic movements it feels like I and maybe you as well are being held in a place to strongly encourage us to keep working on the inner self, connecting it consciously with love to our highest self, our eternal and divine self. So much of life, especially in America keeps you moving so much and wanting so much that you often give your time away to what’s new and more when really your heart and spirit want you to slow down, pause and really see and feel what is happening now. With you and your self. There is nothing selfish or inappropriately self-centered with taking time to learn and grow within. It is ultimately an act of selfless service maybe even the basis for servant leadership and stewardship. To love thy neighbor as thyself, as you have heard, requires self love. Self love begins with self talk, self time, self-acceptance and self growth. There is no value in doing and believing what you were taught by your parents, teachers, preachers, doctors, spouses, friends, just because they taught you that. The real value you give and gain is when you take those teachings and examine and discern them and their value for you, your life, yourself. If you keep them, great. If you grow them, great. If you discard them, great. All of this is done from a place of gratitude for the teachings, gifts, that were given. So the greatest gift to ourselves and our beloved communities is self development. From this, we all benefit and a new world grows. It’s all an inside job.

Peace & Blessings,

Philana

Divine Order

~ soulspeak915 ~ Leave a comment

Greetings and Welcome!

Just to refresh your mind and for any new readers, I write these based on sticky notes or memos or envelopes that I have written some thought or feeling about at any point in time in these past years. I then give my present day insight on what was an epiphany from before. I’m finding this to be quite enlightening and enjoyable. Just seeing myself and my growth or expansion of perspective is affirming and fun. I hope you get something from this as well. So here we go!

3/15/2022

“Divine Order is not for your comfort or your pleasure. Its not even for your understanding, approval or acceptance. Divine Order requires our surrender and our wisdom. Wisdom leads to understanding and spiritual understanding supports your development. Divine Order as an affirmation is spoken to bring alignment and atonement; at-one-ment”.

Chaos then Order. Order is the first law of the universe/multiverse. Sometimes learning and then discerning the order of things takes more time than imagined but the chaos of all possibilities and potentialities must come into an order in order to take form and become available for use. This past month I was affirming 6 statements in increasing order daily to support the growth of my consciousness. My first affirmation was ‘I surrender to Divine Will and manifest Divine Order in all my affairs.’ Everyday as I made this statement I would feel something inside. My mind and my body would have some response or reaction to this statement. Sometimes subtle, sometimes more pronounced. The times I remember the best are when I would meet resistance; when I would momentarily forget what my affirmation was. This was like my self pushing back on my self. During this time I had an interesting realization. I was in a restorative Yoga class and I felt me fighting with myself. I was fighting with me to do every pose ‘correctly’ and to hold it longer than anyone in the class. I recognized how I was pulling and pushing myself out of Divine Order for myself. Wow! In a Yoga class! I guess I’m glad some mindfulness prevailed. Along with this came the recognition that it is easy to say Divine Order when things or events are working in a way that pleases or benefits me/us. But what about the unpleasant, the unplanned, the chaotic or disruptive event or activity. Do I/we see or feel its Divine Order?

Yesterday was a day of self doubt and self flagellation. I imagine these times as when I have taken a cat-of-nine-tails and flailed myself for some perceived failure, lack or laziness. Today I recognized that not only was that activity misplaced it was incorrect. Everything is still in Divine Order and I am moving in a way that benefits me and my community. What a difference a day makes, along with some support from friends who see things differently and some sleep and prayer and meditation. I also included a New Moon bath. All of this to say, remember to take a breath, give yourself some grace and seek some time with the natural frequencies and entities. As someone said a long time ago, all things are working together for your good.

Peace & Blessings

North Node Stuff

~ soulspeak915 ~ Leave a comment

Well, I shared with you that I would use things I had previously written on memo pads or post-it notes or even notebook pages over many years as the basis for my posts. My purpose is to record my thoughts and musings on any number of subjects but they all would be under the over-arching canopy of personal development and spiritual growth and awareness. I didn’t list it in my about section but I am ABD for an EdD in Pastoral Counseling.

In 2008 I was feeling anxious about my life and feeling unfulfilled and bored. I had studied and taken classes at ‘The Village’, the Association of Unity Churches headquarters while also studying within my home church or center as it was called. I wondered in what direction should I grow myself. Ministry, teaching, counseling? No clear answer presented itself. When I discovered the Pastoral Counseling program I felt that this was a great fit for my vision of a retreat center. I knew that I wanted to support people to live the life they wanted and I knew that changing your beliefs and perspectives required a safe place. Fast forward through many spiritual experiences, I was reminded that I enjoyed the perspectives of many disciplines to give me direction or support my next steps. Hence some background on this next entry.

7/12/2022 North Node Stuff

In case you don’t know this is an astrological placement and I had been avoiding it for about 4 years. Here are the questions that presented themselves.

  • 1. What are my visions and goals for my future?
  • 2. What am I working/moving toward?
  • 3. What goals will expand me personally?
  • 4. How am I paying attention to myself? Giving myself credit for the improvements I’ve made and am making?
  • 5. Am I taking full responsibility for myself? My life?
  • 6. What will truly fulfill my heart and soul?

Well, I realized that I have made some progress and improvements personally. I give myself credit for the improvements I’ve made in beliefs and behaviors. I still have work to do with my self esteem and self value. I am taking more honest responsibility for myself and really catching myself when I’m playing victim. That’s always a bit unpleasant. The business of personal goals and what I’m moving toward seems to be a moving target but there are times I feel closer and more confident I am moving in the direction of my souls’ desire and vision. What I do realize is that what truly fills my heart and soul are loving relationships with my sons and family members and friends and making music and creating and being surrounded by beauty.

I hope these questions can be useful for you as you continue to discover what makes life and living good for you.

Peace & Blessings,

Philana

What a Beginning!

~ soulspeak915 ~ Leave a comment

I shared that I would be using things I have written before on the many different post-it notes, etc… to begin many of my conversations. Well today’s note comes from 3/24/2022. I had to look at it twice because I was confused. We haven’t gotten there yet. I know I have strange dreams but I couldn’t be writing this from my future, could I? Nope, not so lucky.

Here goes: ” Today as I write this I am receiving my first conscious clear insight into my learned conditioned feeling and perception of my inferiority. I perceive and feel as though any and ever one is better or superior to me. This is sobering and difficult. It makes sense that I feel angry all the time. It makes sense that I create or allow the obstacles that appear before me every time I begin to grow into my True Self. It’s enlightening that at many levels, no matter what is said to me, or what I accomplish, I feel that ‘it doesn’t matter’, because some one else is still better at it than me. Sister, brother, son, friend. Even enemies. This is debilitating and the cancer in my life. How do I remove this soul consuming disease? This self destroying, self replicating virus, infection? This cure is necessary for my survival and prosperity.”

Wow… just reading and typing this out without edit is mind-blowing. First of all, I called this mental parasite, this state of mental disease a cancer in my life. In June 2022 I received a diagnosis of a breast cancer! I was telling myself, warning myself, about this disease within and I am just now seeing this. I wrote this to myself, about myself. You know what? Talk to yourself and listen attentively because your words are informing both you and your body. As within, so without. If you are not talking and listening to your self, the only other expert in the Cosmos on you, you are creating an unnecessary obstacle to be overcome. Wow. This happened in real time folks. I’m still reeling from my own words.

Here I am/ we are almost a year later and there have been significant changes in small ways for me. My diet and eating habits have changed. I removed sugar in every form I could from my diet. I worked with a Theta Healer to address my beliefs about myself and my worthiness. And I started listening to some very different teachers. Doctah B Sirius, Dr. Phil Valentine, Rod Hayes, and Billy Carson to name a few. This is how spirit works though. Quiet and behind the scenes. Take some time to talk to your self; ask your self the questions you are having trouble with and then listen and read between the lines for an answer.

Thanks for listening and sharing.

Philana