I shared that I would be using things I have written before on the many different post-it notes, etc… to begin many of my conversations. Well today’s note comes from 3/24/2022. I had to look at it twice because I was confused. We haven’t gotten there yet. I know I have strange dreams but I couldn’t be writing this from my future, could I? Nope, not so lucky.
Here goes: ” Today as I write this I am receiving my first conscious clear insight into my learned conditioned feeling and perception of my inferiority. I perceive and feel as though any and ever one is better or superior to me. This is sobering and difficult. It makes sense that I feel angry all the time. It makes sense that I create or allow the obstacles that appear before me every time I begin to grow into my True Self. It’s enlightening that at many levels, no matter what is said to me, or what I accomplish, I feel that ‘it doesn’t matter’, because some one else is still better at it than me. Sister, brother, son, friend. Even enemies. This is debilitating and the cancer in my life. How do I remove this soul consuming disease? This self destroying, self replicating virus, infection? This cure is necessary for my survival and prosperity.”
Wow… just reading and typing this out without edit is mind-blowing. First of all, I called this mental parasite, this state of mental disease a cancer in my life. In June 2022 I received a diagnosis of a breast cancer! I was telling myself, warning myself, about this disease within and I am just now seeing this. I wrote this to myself, about myself. You know what? Talk to yourself and listen attentively because your words are informing both you and your body. As within, so without. If you are not talking and listening to your self, the only other expert in the Cosmos on you, you are creating an unnecessary obstacle to be overcome. Wow. This happened in real time folks. I’m still reeling from my own words.
Here I am/ we are almost a year later and there have been significant changes in small ways for me. My diet and eating habits have changed. I removed sugar in every form I could from my diet. I worked with a Theta Healer to address my beliefs about myself and my worthiness. And I started listening to some very different teachers. Doctah B Sirius, Dr. Phil Valentine, Rod Hayes, and Billy Carson to name a few. This is how spirit works though. Quiet and behind the scenes. Take some time to talk to your self; ask your self the questions you are having trouble with and then listen and read between the lines for an answer.
Thanks for listening and sharing.