SoulSpeak

What Did I Really Know?

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First off, I wrote this about a month ago🤦🏽‍♀️after an intense conversation with an old friend. So, if there are statements that seem vague or unclear, it’s because of the historical spans of our interactions.

How often do you tell yourself your truth?

My conversation, or mostly his monologue, brought this to my mind. He thought and thinks he knows me because he has information about some of the timelines of my life. The beauty of this excruciating time spent this morning really brought me back to questions like, what was on my mind when I got pregnant, got married, got divorced, and on and on. The long-time spent hearing about myself from a long time friend has me thinking.

The thoughts held and pondered by my friend are energies, frequencies that are having a subtle effect on both of us. This conversation has shown me that I have some energetic cords that need cutting. (Side note, the post I made before this is more like the follow-up to this conversation). He is holding me in a space that not only no longer exists but is incorrect in so many ways. Also, I am reminded that I was dishonest with myself a lot throughout this life. I made many decisions without honoring my real thoughts and feelings. Many of my decisions were transactional while also reflective of my youthful, limited understanding of life. But most of what I’m looking at is, in the paraphrased words of Edgar Allan Poe, ‘oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive…’

How self-deceptive have I been through these years? Is this what maturity is bringing forward? I get to reflect, recognize and reconsider how I have shaped my life. I also get to assess my evolution and understanding. And you know what? I can pick myself apart, highlight all the choices and the consequences and judge myself. I also can give myself real love for overcoming and expanding my world. I feel pretty good about how I’ve landed so far, and it feels like I have a bright today and tomorrow. So, I thank myself for allowing my life to be good.

Well, remember, I told you I wrote this about a month ago.

As time passes and more events have unfolded, I encourage you as I continue to encourage me to trust in your inner goodness. Find the light in the dark and allow the dark to be shifted. Take some time and speak to your inner selves. Find the places, the nooks and crannies where you have hidden your gems and fears and free them.  Let the Ring of Fire Eclipse and the Fire Horse New Year support your inner alchemy. Bring your light to the surface and harmonize your frequencies with Earth and the Cosmos. There’s room for everyone and all gifts. No competition. No oppression.

Peace☮️