Greetings and Welcome!

Just to refresh your mind and for any new readers, I write these based on sticky notes or memos or envelopes that I have written some thought or feeling about at any point in time in these past years. I then give my present day insight on what was an epiphany from before. I’m finding this to be quite enlightening and enjoyable. Just seeing myself and my growth or expansion of perspective is affirming and fun. I hope you get something from this as well. So here we go!

3/15/2022

“Divine Order is not for your comfort or your pleasure. Its not even for your understanding, approval or acceptance. Divine Order requires our surrender and our wisdom. Wisdom leads to understanding and spiritual understanding supports your development. Divine Order as an affirmation is spoken to bring alignment and atonement; at-one-ment”.

Chaos then Order. Order is the first law of the universe/multiverse. Sometimes learning and then discerning the order of things takes more time than imagined but the chaos of all possibilities and potentialities must come into an order in order to take form and become available for use. This past month I was affirming 6 statements in increasing order daily to support the growth of my consciousness. My first affirmation was ‘I surrender to Divine Will and manifest Divine Order in all my affairs.’ Everyday as I made this statement I would feel something inside. My mind and my body would have some response or reaction to this statement. Sometimes subtle, sometimes more pronounced. The times I remember the best are when I would meet resistance; when I would momentarily forget what my affirmation was. This was like my self pushing back on my self. During this time I had an interesting realization. I was in a restorative Yoga class and I felt me fighting with myself. I was fighting with me to do every pose ‘correctly’ and to hold it longer than anyone in the class. I recognized how I was pulling and pushing myself out of Divine Order for myself. Wow! In a Yoga class! I guess I’m glad some mindfulness prevailed. Along with this came the recognition that it is easy to say Divine Order when things or events are working in a way that pleases or benefits me/us. But what about the unpleasant, the unplanned, the chaotic or disruptive event or activity. Do I/we see or feel its Divine Order?

Yesterday was a day of self doubt and self flagellation. I imagine these times as when I have taken a cat-of-nine-tails and flailed myself for some perceived failure, lack or laziness. Today I recognized that not only was that activity misplaced it was incorrect. Everything is still in Divine Order and I am moving in a way that benefits me and my community. What a difference a day makes, along with some support from friends who see things differently and some sleep and prayer and meditation. I also included a New Moon bath. All of this to say, remember to take a breath, give yourself some grace and seek some time with the natural frequencies and entities. As someone said a long time ago, all things are working together for your good.

Peace & Blessings

Well, I shared with you that I would use things I had previously written on memo pads or post-it notes or even notebook pages over many years as the basis for my posts. My purpose is to record my thoughts and musings on any number of subjects but they all would be under the over-arching canopy of personal development and spiritual growth and awareness. I didn’t list it in my about section but I am ABD for an EdD in Pastoral Counseling.

In 2008 I was feeling anxious about my life and feeling unfulfilled and bored. I had studied and taken classes at ‘The Village’, the Association of Unity Churches headquarters while also studying within my home church or center as it was called. I wondered in what direction should I grow myself. Ministry, teaching, counseling? No clear answer presented itself. When I discovered the Pastoral Counseling program I felt that this was a great fit for my vision of a retreat center. I knew that I wanted to support people to live the life they wanted and I knew that changing your beliefs and perspectives required a safe place. Fast forward through many spiritual experiences, I was reminded that I enjoyed the perspectives of many disciplines to give me direction or support my next steps. Hence some background on this next entry.

7/12/2022 North Node Stuff

In case you don’t know this is an astrological placement and I had been avoiding it for about 4 years. Here are the questions that presented themselves.

• 1. What are my visions and goals for my future?
• 2. What am I working/moving toward?
• 3. What goals will expand me personally?
• 4. How am I paying attention to myself? Giving myself credit for the improvements I’ve made and am making?
• 5. Am I taking full responsibility for myself? My life?
• 6. What will truly fulfill my heart and soul?

Well, I realized that I have made some progress and improvements personally. I give myself credit for the improvements I’ve made in beliefs and behaviors. I still have work to do with my self esteem and self value. I am taking more honest responsibility for myself and really catching myself when I’m playing victim. That’s always a bit unpleasant. The business of personal goals and what I’m moving toward seems to be a moving target but there are times I feel closer and more confident I am moving in the direction of my souls’ desire and vision. What I do realize is that what truly fills my heart and soul are loving relationships with my sons and family members and friends and making music and creating and being surrounded by beauty.

I hope these questions can be useful for you as you continue to discover what makes life and living good for you.

Peace & Blessings,

Philana